Dear future daughter,
There are so many quotes on love, but it is this one by the legendary CS Lewis that really speaks to me – “To love is to be vulnerable”. Six words – simple, straightforward and elegant, exactly like how we think love should be.
Truth be told, love is anything but that. Someone once told me that love is not a trip – it is a journey – a journey that comes with its very own obstacle course, chock full of ups and downs and unforeseen twists and turns. Love is definitely an unpredictable journey to say the least, and at some point down this rocky path, you might think that a fairy-tale will unfold if only you meet the correct person. But in contrary to a happily ever after, finding the correct person is just the beginning of the journey.
We all are only human. Perfect despite our imperfections, we fight, we hurt, we make mistakes, and we learn from them. Love is a journey of constant growth, so please believe me when I say that regardless of whom you choose to undertake this journey with, challenges are bound to loom up at you. At this point, it does not matter who is by your side, as long as they are willing to face these obstacles head-on with you, hand in hand, you know that this person is a keeper.
As opposed to the common belief that overcoming hiccups in a relationship is a piece of cake as both sides know each other so well, love is also a journey of courage. Most of the time, love is about understanding the circumstances, quenching your ego and learning to apologise even when you’re not the one at fault. Relationships cause passionless people to become highly emotional creatures, and love is knowing when to reign in your emotions and put your relationship on a pedestal.
“…for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health…” There is a reason why these sacred vows have been uttered for centuries, unchanged regardless of the ever-evolving society. Witnessing the pinnacle of devotion, these words ring true to how love is a journey of constant commitment through the good, the bad and the ugly.
And after all of this, how can you say that love is not vulnerable? How else to better describe a journey of growth, courage and commitment?
Forget all that you know about love. Forget about the love that you watch in movies. Forget about the love you read about in novels and magazines. Real love is never about sweaty palms or butterflies fluttering in your stomach, nor is it expensive dinners or a series of photos on social media. Real love is not cute and cuddly, adorned with rainbows and fluffy cotton candy. More often than not, real love is caked in blood, grime and dirt, with sweat running down its forehead.
Remember, love is vulnerable, and to love is to be vulnerable. It is hard work, but it can also be the most rewarding work of your life.